Jargon - T


T&A Building [acronym, obsolete] n. LaserMaster Technical Support and Administration building, located at 7100 Sturdy Oak Road. Now occupied by Transition Engineering, a company to which many suicides have fled.

talespin n. A particularly nasty PostScript file. After DanH finally got it working correctly in Trimmage, LM dropped that PostScript interpreter, and now talespin is broken in the PipeLine PowerPage interpreter. [**See GLT for more details**]

tall v. Standing or otherwise able to fetch beer from the refrigerator or cooler. Chiefly a poker term. Who’s tall? Get me a beer. When everyone is either sitting or lying down, the "tallest" person must be standing, and therefore able to get a beer for everyone else.

tanks [bastardization] interj. Thanks.

tank smudge [bastardization] interj. Thanks much.

tasteful muted colors n. Description once used in an Archie McPhee catalog, now applied sardonically to any aesthetically disagreeable color set.

tayco [bastardization] n. Taco. You guys coming with to Tayco Tuesday?

teardown n. A four-hour sweat period immediately preceding an eight-hour drinking period, a four-hour hurling period, an eight-hour broken period, and a twenty-four-hour sleeping period.

tent-size v. The most popular of tee-shirt sizes requested during a wardrobe enhancement handout. See Omar the Tentmaker.

TGI Friday’s n. Restaurant chain most likely not to thank a group of LM-ers for their patronage and invite them back for a return visit.

Thanks, Dick interj. Reaffirmation that Dick’s Operating System is broken and Wrong. Uttered when something unexpected happens, when a desired feature is not present, or when an existing feature is implemented in an idiotic way (the latter being far and away the most frequent).

Thirtysomething in Space n. Star Trek: The Next Generation.

thunk n. In Windows, a non-moveable snippet of code stored in the task instance database of a Windows application or DLL that sets up the proper DS value before executing the associated exported function. There are also reload thunks, but they are too scary to mention. In the days of Real Mode Windows, moveable and discardable code segments, thunks of all types, and stack walking with modification put fear in the hearts of even the heartiest Windows programmers. See thunk mucking.

thunk mucking [archaic] n. A technique whereby the thunks created automatically for a Windows 2.x DLL’s moveable entrypoints are overwritten with JMP’s in order to have one driver call items in another driver. In this case, the LX6 printer driver’s DDPI thunks were mucked so that it called DDPI module built into the LX6 FCA screen driver.

time to market adj. The critical choice of which pieces to include in a product in order to get it out the door early enough to make a market impact but not too early as to jeopardize the quality of the product, and overall to maximize the area under the time/sales curve. A typical time-to-market decision may be to hold off on a particular non-essential feature until the next release of the software.

Tiny n. ASCII file listing program of love for LX controllers, written by DaveM.

toilet [vulgar] v. Said of an object of questionable value, the implication being that it is "good for shit." (See broken, wrong.) This toilet operating system needs a major brain transplant.

token carrot n. The one piece of carrot that is supposed to be present in each bowl of curry chicken, but sometimes isn’t because someone else got two token carrots.

toner bones n. pl. Same as toner carcass.

toner carcass n. A spent toner cartridge. See toner graveyard.

toner cooties n. pl. The black smear that is put on a new sofa when touched after handling test documents all day.

toner hurl n. 1. Small spatters of unfused pixel dust which sometimes remain on output from laser marking engines and which are usually too small to notice until you’ve smeared your otherwise perfect document. 2. The black cloud of toner that fills the paper path and erupts from some 1200-dpi printers when they’ve fracked during a print job. 3. The drifts of toner left over after cleaning out a stack of toner bones.

toner graveyard n. A cube where toner cartridges go to die; a special cube dedicated to the collection of toner carcasses. The carcasses are recycled every few weeks.

toner placenta n. A ribbon of plastic which separates the toner from the drum during shipping and which must be pulled out of the side of the toner cartridge when it is first installed.

trade show foofoo n. A free pin, pen, bag, hat, tee-shirt, mouse pad, loupe, Slo-Poke or any such foofoo item given out by the thousands for advertising purposes at trade shows. Worn proudly by the pond scum to show off how cool they are. Collected and displayed by software engines to show how cool they are.

Transfer n. Any directory ending in TRANSFER, as in N:TRANSFER or, more popularly, R:TRANSFER. Temporary holding place while transferring program and data files between machines because Dick’s Operating System is broken. Throw it up in Transfer. Files in Transfer are considered volatile and may hence disappear without warning (see blow away Transfer).

Trimmage [bastardization] n. LaserMaster’s enhanced version of TrueImage, a PostScript interpreter licensed from Microsoft Corp.

Turbo Cobol++ n. Mythical language optimized for writing bad, slow applications. See also Visual Cobol.

TurboEat n. Less popular but equivalent form of fork mode.

TurboGray[TM] n. New halftoning technique of love. See JohnW for an explanation. Bring lunch.

Turbo Nerf Football TurboNerf n. A red and black Nerf brand football given away by LaserMaster as a promotional gimmick for TurboRes at Fall ’90 Demcox.

TurboNoise n. A melodious series of ascending tones immediately preceeding the printing of a TurboRes’ed page on a LaserMaster printer. It was never shipped (except in a beta copy of the OS/2 LX6 driver), but LXLOAD was modified to enable it in the CONFIG.LM file and the DD/PI source code still contains conditional code to support it.

TurboRes® n. LM’s initial proprietary resolution enhancement technology. Basically, it involves wiggling the laser beam fast than originally intended in order to make partial-sized dots, which will merge with neighboring dots to smooth out the jaggies. One day, there’ll be a (working) link to the Turbo Res White Paper here.

TurboRest v. To cram eight hours of sleep into fifteen minutes, a technique pioneered by RobL at Fall `91 Demcox in Las Vegas. Half- and quarter-turn R.E.M. movements are achieved by modulating the eye organ directly to alter the shape, size and direction of rapid eye movement to give you the highest sleep quality possible, virtually eliminating the "flutters." [Ed. note: the name TurboRest originated from a misprint on an ASIC which was supposed to have read TurboRes+.]

TWIMC [acronym] Versatile acronym, originally "To Whom it May Concern." Sample variants used over the years:
"To Whoever installed Microsoft C:"
"To Witches in Mystical Covens:"
"The Window in Mark’s Cube."
"Titilating Work, including Many Clysters."
"Tiny Whelk ingesting Moldy Carp."
"Tanqueray When i Meet Customers."
"Toilet Water intriques My Cat."
"Talk Wickham into Making Code."
"Try Windows in Macintosh Computers."
"The Workers in Mel’s Company."

Twisted Fish Bug n. A long-standing bug in the LX6 display driver that could only be demonstrated with the WinToy FISH.EXE shipped with the Windows 2.1 DDK. The bug caused the right part of the fish bowl not to get cleared at the beginning of the program. [** Ask CraigL if fixed]

TX n. 1. LaserMaster TrueTech or TrueTech AFM controller. 2. The TrueTech product line. 3. TrueTech software, hardware, or any combination thereof. See also T2.

type v. To program; to enter code, as in The hardware is finished; now it’s all just typing.

T2 n. 1. TrueTech AFM controller. 2. TrueTech AFM software Release 2.00, the first real release of love for the TX line, and any release thereafter. [**history through T2PATH, TT=The Terminator, ergo T2=Terminator 2. Arnold, etc.]

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Copyright 2009, Dave Polaschek. Last updated on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:06:52.