Jargon - S

S


SAL Club [acronym] n. Sledding After Lunch Club. Plastic sleds, inner-tubes and snurfing devices are employed to achieve high-velocity downward movement on a snow-laden hill. If you are RobL, the goal is to ride an inner-tube down the hill fast enough to jump the snow drift and land in the parking lot. If you are CraigL, the goal is to snurf standing up the whole way down the hill. The latter is actually far more difficult and CraigL is the only one who can pull it off.

salt-rush pretzel n. A pretzel with excessive amounts of salt. (See naked pretzel.)

Sandwich Group [obsolete] n. One of four original software development teams originally located in the large PC Land bay; group of software engines gathered together to work on ***. See also Butterfinger Group, Cow Group and Jungle Group.

Saturday the 14th at 7:06 a.m. n. The official make time of any product finished the day before (6 hours and 66 minutes after a Friday the 13th), the time of which was chosen to snit LeeB who insisted that software couldn't be released on Friday the Thirteenth.

Schweitzerize v. The act of loading your Macintosh with so many extensions, cdevs and copies of the program you are currently working on that you have no idea what will happen when you boot. Named after TimS. See also MacsBug.

Schweitzerbug n. Any bug which can only be reproduced if the developer responsible for fixing it is not in the room.

Scrubway [bastardization] n. Subway, a buttfood restaurant. Also Grubway.

scud n. An object cast into a cube. interj. Cried out when faced with incoming rubber bands.

Seattle stitch [bastardization] n. Saddle stitch. One of many misspellings gathered over the years in cc:Mail messages from non-R&D factions where people are believed to be illiterate.

SEF [acronym] v. Short Edge First. See LEF.

SFU error [acronym] n. Stupid Fucking User error. Similar to cockpit error, only worse (see pond scum). A smart person is incapable of an SFU error, by definition.

Shark Club n. A loud, dark, high-tech night club in Las Vegas, visited by LM'ers every Fall Demcox. (For the record, the lifesize cardboard Elvira in Imaging Land was kindly donated by one of the bouncers.)

shift left v. To pass placemats, plates, silverware, drinking glasses, napkins or chopsticks to the person on your immediate left. Iterated, the most efficient means of distributing tableware at a round table.

shift right v. Same as shift left, only in the opposite direction.

ship it An exclamation made by QA types when they're done with a release, whether it's actually ready for customers or not.

Shiva's Own PutRaster n. n-bit to m-bit blitting for the LX microcode (n,m [[propersubset]] ). See God's Own PutRaster.

shred it v. What to do with bad documentation. From an early LC2 customer (c. 1988) who said, The product worked great but was missing one component: a shredder for the manual.

shrimp toes n. 1. Yummy, greasy, battered shrimp toast buttfood available on Fridays at the Eden Restaurant (name irrelevant). 2. The restaurant itself. You going to shrimp toes? interj. Bellowed at lunchtime on Friday to announce a group venture. See Wok-the-dog.

sighting n. 1. Presence in the building. When someone stays late during crunch mode, it is often difficult to observe core hours the next day. Since the exact time of departure the night before may be unknown, the exact time of arrival in the morning cannot be predicted. Therefore people do not assume that someone is in by ten o'clock: Has there been a Rob sighting yet? rather than I'm trying to find Rob; do you know where he is? 2. The first time James is seen in the morning, usually around 11:00 a.m. On occasion there is a group bet with the intent of guessing the time of first sighting, especially the morning after a release party (in which case the time is usually 1:00 or 2:00 p.m.). Each entry into the lottery costs 25 cents; the winner gets all the quarters and is the person who guesses the time the closest.

Silicon Prairie n. A better name for the whole of Eden Prairie due to the large percentage of high-tech firms in the area; unlike Silicon Valley, a place still experiencing profitable business. See Laser Prairie.

simulated cheese n. An artificial cheese substance used in certain buttfoods. Anything that is not a friendly form of cheese may be referred to as simulated cheese, even if the label says it is "made with 100% real cheese."

SissyMail [bastardization] n. Yet another colorful nickname for cc:Mail.

6:07:17 n. By LM tradition, the precise time when a new software release is rolled out to Tech Support. Usually on a Tuesday evening.

skull cap n. The tasty, crunchy top of a loaf of fresh brain. Hey, man, you got to eat the skull cap last time!

slap the slug v. To complacently, anxiously or nervously tap a rubber slug toy against the knee or desk while waiting for a compile or link or while talking on the phone.

Slo-Poke n. Small caramel suckers, attached to a "Just Say SLO" Adobe PostScript sticker, found in drawers of ancient, unused desks; a classic LM trade show foofoo. Usually still edible, if not tasty. In 1988(**) LarryL sent 500 pounds of Slo-Pokes to John Warnock of Adobe.

slunch [bastardization] interj. Time for lunch. interr. Query of lunch plans, in the manner of Bayon.

S&M Building [acronym] n. LaserMaster Sales and Marketing building, located at 6900 Sturdy Oak Road.

smelly butt n. Endearing term, contrary to intuition. interj. An informal greeting, as in Good moring, smelly butt. Popular variants: sticky butt, smarmy butt stealth butt.

smoking car [obsolescent] n. A vehicle with the smoking bit set on the way to and from lunch, especially to Bayon or mall buttfood. interj. Bellowed with arms in the air to announce that the speaker is providing transportation and that persons with the smoking bit set should ride with the speaker and enjoy tubers together.

SneakerNet n. 1. Method of transferring files when a local-area network is down (see also notwork). 2. File transfer by floppy diskette.

snivelling Macintosh primadonnas n. Mac guys who occationally work on PC's as well but still bleed six colors. See way snivelling Macintosh primadonnas.

snurf [SNow + sURF] v. To ski downhill in winter on a single-ski snurfer designed to put your face in the snow. CraigL is the king snurfer. See SAL Club.

software engine n. A device that produces useful software when you feed it beer, pretzels, and curry chicken.

Space Rog [bastardization] n. Space Rogue, a PC video game. Named for its eight-character directory name, SPACEROG. Also Space Rouge.

Space Rouge [bastardization] n. Space Rogue, a PC video game. Also Space Rog.


special project The first special project was the geographical relocation of a very special Chicago park bench.

sparkler n. 1. A frustrating and low-priority bug which interfers with the examination of a critical and complex bug by heeking the printer or software first. 2. A bug which is so neat that it distracts QA from what they set out to reproduce. (Name derived from Murphy's Laws: a $50 transistor will defend the 30cents slo-blow fuse protecting it by blowing first.)

splunge ans. A non-Boolean answer to a Boolean question; neither agreement, nor disagreement, nor indecisiveness. From a Monty Python sketch.

Spoo directory [bastardization] n. Spool directory. A directory where temporary files are spooled for printing, primarily in the Win.* product line. Coined because it is possible, using Norton Change Directory in DOS, to go there by typing "NCD spoo".

spooge n. An undesirable or unusual substance, for example an unanticipated toner- or non-toner related mark on a fresh page, or a goopy food substance in the wrong place. v. Containing a combination of substances, as in a "spooge donut" (chocolate a with cream filling) or "spooge chips" (sour cream and cheddar potato chips). v. To spill or mark with such a substance, for example if you spill some red food down your shirt, you just "spooged" yourself. Derived from spewage.

sports car dump truck n. A product that does everything, but does no single thing really well. LeoS coined the term in a conversation with GregB, who wanted an imaging product that was infinitely fast, infinitely functional, and cost nothing (the sales person's dream, except for the comission part). The original phrase was "sports car dump truck with wings." See Camel, the racehorse designed by a committee. ***]???

spousal context clash n. When you are in computer mode or LM mode and your spouse is in human mode. A slap in the face is sometimes beneficial to reconciling or synchronizing modes. More frequent during release mode. Often the spouse will say, Must be an LM thing.

spud n. Child or baby. The little spud looks just like you. Burps like you, too.

SPURT! n. A mythical powder drink mix that makes you the smartest person in the world for 10 seconds, then you have to sleep for a month. See also PURGE!

squirt v. 1. To eject, as in printing a page. The original behemoth LM 1200 could squirt twenty pages a minute. 2. To send data, as in serial or network communication.

S.R. [acronym] n. System Report; An entry in the bug and requested features database (which is of course usually empty).

SST [archaic] n. Old name for DD/PI. Originally there was the DoubleJet, LaserMaster's PCL clone. Then DoubleJet native mode was added, a mode with binary line drawing commands to improve AutoCAD performance. Native mode was expanded substantially, and when font handling was added, the PCL support was dropped and it became SST, which originally stood for Super Script Turbo, but was just called SST after a while. SST became DD/PI when the display was added.

Stagnant Mode [bastardization] n. Windows Standard Mode. So named by Microsoft because of its inability to be extended, primarily because of the need to function on the brain-dead 286 processor. The lack of 386 virtual device support limits the extensibility of standard mode. As of July 1995, Stagnant Mode would be obsolete, except that it's the only mode available in SoftWindows for the Mac.

stimulated [bastardization] v. Simulated, as in "stimulated cheese food." (See also simulated cheese.)

Stinky n. LeeB's plastic toy horse on a stick that travels with him to all trade shows and all parties and dinners at such trade shows. He was born Dec. 12, 1988, and baptized and christened a few months later. He rode on the front of the truck like a masthead whenever LeeB drove to trade shows and has logged over 24,000 miles.

Stools directory n. The directory S:\TOOLS and its subdirectories. No longer located on S: for most people due to shuffling of files to make room. I think you can find it in the Stools Directory.

strcain n. Egregious coding of

	sprintf(p, "%s", q);

where a simple

	strcpy(p, q);

would suffice. See bobcat, barbism.

Structure of Love n. One array element in the Paper Size Table of Love, arrived at after many meetings and much consternation. The old structure was incomplete, ungeneralized and klugey. Of love was born with this phrase.

stub snubbing [nonce word] v. Removal of function or procedure stubs when they are no longer necessary.

Sturdy Oak Road n. A freeway passing through Laser Prairie. Name originated from a mass-mailing piece that JohnM received.

suck vt. To devour data, as in microcode downloading or page description interpreting. This new Rev 5 TX controller can really suck your files. See almost done sucking.

sucking down v. Opposite of "sucking up"; to curry disfavor with a mangler, for example saying How 'bout them Twins? to a Minnesota fan when they are twenty-five games out of first at the start of July.

suck the table v. To drink the spilled reeb, Reverend Jack or other alcoholic beverage from a table top. Technique pioneered by CraigL using J.D. Co' at an Aaron party in 1991.

suicide n. 1. The act or instance of willfully leaving the company. We haven't had that many suicides this year.

Sun Room n. Small conference room near the 7188 entrance. Named for the skylight in the ceiling. The smaller companion conference room was often called the Sun Room Annex before MarkG took residence there.

swingage n. Endearing term, chiefly used in greeting, as in Hey, swingage. Less obnoxious than smelly butt; used alternatively when manglers are in the area.

SX n. A Canon laser marking engine. The native resolution of this engine was 300 or 400 dpi. Enhanced to print 1000x400 dpi TurboRes®. by LaserMaster.

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Copyright 2009, Dave Polaschek. Last updated on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:06:52.