Jargon - L


Lame Rasters [anagram] n. Once upon a time, on a field trip to a place called Dorholt Printing, AaronK rearranged the plastic letters in a greeting sign that read, "Welcome LaserMaster." By the end of the tour, the sign had reverted to its original welcome.

Lancer n. QA file server aptly named for its sole function in life: to help lance the boils in software releases.

landscape mode v. 1. Orientation of a business card shot width-first for greater accuracy but less speed and distance. See portrait mode, ninja card. 2. Unable to drink; lying down; sleeping; passed out. See portrait mode, blanket time.

laser chicken n. Kung Pao Chicken, ordered hot. See power steak, curry chicken.

Laser Prairie n. An area of Eden Prairie encompassing the LaserMaster campus and much of Sturdy Oak Road; said because the entire area will consist solely of LM-owned or operated buildings by the year 1997. [Editor's note: This was just a little over-optimistic]

last supper n. A group lunch honoring an LM'er who is leaving voluntarily. Traditionally held at Fuddrucker's, where the small four-person tables can be lined up into a single, long n-person table.

Latest n. The directory L:\LATEST\x\y, a destination for program and data files not guaranteed to function correctly, where x and y are defined by the release manager and may differ among components of the release. In contrast with Prerel, files in Latest do not participate in software releases and carry no guarantee of fitness (although from experience we know they almost always work the first time).

LC2 n. LaserMaster's original printer controller. Originally named the XT/P controller for CAD plots, it became the CAPCard when its use with Ventura took off. Finally changed to LC2 when the term CAP (Computer Aided Publishing) didn't catch on. See Elsie the Cow.

LCD [acronym] n. Lowest Common Degenerate. A term used to indicate the most inexperienced, ill-informed, naive user on the face of the planet. Documentation is written for these people on special LM drool-proof paper.

lee-dive v. The act of punching out a bouncer at the top of a bar stairway, and beating him to the bottom to make a hasty exit before he knows what hit him. (Of course, this would never really happen.)

Lee's Not Here Disease [bastardization of Legionnaire's Disease, obsolete] n. A sickness suffered by QA technicians when their leader is absent. Occurs only on weekdays. Symptoms include confusion, disorientation, desire to be outdoors, constant music in ears, excessive humor, multiple manager phobia. JimH says too many chiefs, not enough indians.

LEF [acronym] v. Long Edge First. Printing term describing the path of paper through the press or engine. LEF requires a larger width than SEF, although an engine such as the Unity 1200xl can print Letter-size pages LEF for free because it already uses the 11"-wide pathway for SEF Ledger-size pages.

lezterp [flessage] n. Pretzel. -lezterps n. pl.

linkage n. Successful link. interj. Announces a successful link.

live v. To work or reside in your cube, as in Could you show me where MarkG lives?

living v. Still employed by LM. Same as alive, opposite of dead.

LLLL [acronym] n. The Larry Lukis Luminosity Level. How many lights are on upstairs, as judged by Larry in a 20-minute conversation with someone.

LM Drink n. Tanqueray and Tonic at an approximately 50-50 mixture, served traditionally by the pitcher or toilet. A potent drink, but slightly weaker than a J.D. Co' and far weaker than the Drink of Life and Death.

LM'er n. An employee of LaserMaster, preferably a loyal and dedicated one and not a foofoo or a puffalump. When LM'ers drink and frolic together it is referred to as corporate bonding. To say "loud LM'er" or "loud LM'ers" is somewhat redundant as loud is both understood and a necessity.

LMLC [acronym, archaic] n. LaserMaster Laser Control program; the (menu driven!) utility program that shipped with the LC2 to scale fonts, etc. Written by Dave Mackmiller, ask him for more details.

LM mode n. Mindset in which demented humor and LM jargon are the vehicles of conversation. See spousal context clash.

LM Museum [obsolete] n. Small room way, way back in the bowels of R&D wherein are kept sentimental trophies from trade shows past and other excursions of days gone by. All the cool stuff has since been taken away by the forces of evil, and the room converted to normal boring storage.

LM Net n. LX network printing solution implemented by a program that picks up DD/PI files output to a network directory and prints them. Also includes a large and unruly collection of setup and configuration utilities.

LM Page [obsolete] n. LaserMaster's first PostScript clone, written and still in Muckula-2. The original version was written by LarryL over several long weekends (and nights).

LM Pig-Nic n. A company-wide social gathering hosted at a horse ranch a few miles south of Laser Prairie. The Pig-Nic is traditionally held in mid-September and features a pig roast, hayrides, horse rides, Karoke, lots of beer, lots of buttfood, and a variety of outdoor activities such as football, the egg-toss, the floppy disk flip, and the exalted tug-of-war.

LM Tar Pit n. The tarry, sticky, molten mass found at the bottom of the stainless steel coffee pot after having been left on over the weekend which, because of its volume, has not had a chance to harden into igneous java.

LM thing n. Anything peculiar to LaserMaster; of or pertaining to LaserMaster. See spousal context clash.

LM widow n. The spouse of any LM employee, especially when employee is in crunch mode or is by nature a software engine. See spousal context clash and the Whore.

LM World n. Immodest name for a LaserMaster booth at a trade show. Named for the sheer size of the booth, which is typically 1,000 to 2,500 square feet.

LM 1200 n. A laser marking engine that can print pages bigger than your head; a 100-pound print engine that draws more power than the Hoover dam is capable of generating in a single day. See brownie.

lock up v. ** distinguish among "crash," "hang," "lock up." **Lock up is also a noun.

logout v. To defecate.

loupe n. 1. Printer's magnifier; small magnifying eyepiece. 2. A trade show foofoo used by software engines to prove that a Trimmage thin-line problem is really the result of deep valleys and rifts in the Hammermill-Kimberly-Nekoosa Plus paper. Also sometimes used as a scud.

L-Room n. [obsolete] Larger conference room near the 7178 entrance. Named for the characteristic shape of the room. Part of it remains as the current QA conference room

L Room Hubbard n. Alternate name for L-Room.

lutch n. The thing at the bottom of your glass that you thought you drank, but wasn't really there.

LX n. 1. LaserMaster's Series III Professional line of controllers; the general name for the controller architecture that succeeded the LC2. The first product was the LX6. 2. A Canon laser marking engine.

LXLOAD n. LX microcode downloader. See CONFIG.LM.

LXO [acronym] n. LXOutline font. Based on the QOL format, this format for the LX controllers included Bitstream Fontware hints and later Nimbus Q hints.

LX6 n. The first LX product. This architecture upgraded an HP LaserJet to 600x300 dpi, later 600x600 TurboRes, and finally 800x800 TurboRes. The 6 refers to maximum DRAM configuration of 6 Mb.

LX20 n. The high-end LX product. This architecture was first developed on the Mac as the MX20, where the 20 refered to the maximum DRAM configuration of 20 Mb. The PC LX version could actually accomodate 32 Mb, but the name was not upgraded. Most notably, drove the LM1200.

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Copyright 2009, Dave Polaschek. Last updated on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:06:47.