Jargon - H


Hackey Bread n. One-quarter to one-third of a loaf of sliced bread (preferably stale and worthless) which acts as a large Hackey Sack[TM] and is sometimes thrown (see brud). Leaks in the plastic bag are fixed with Scotch[TM] tape.

hafta interj. [I] will have to; of course. Used as a one-word affirmative response to a boolean question, for example, You goin' to the party tonight? The proper intonation of "hafta" is subtle: the tone rises in the first syllable and falls in the second syllable; the f is carried approximately a major fifth above the h and the a is carried back down through and sometimes slightly below the starting point at the h.

Halon n. The controller which drives the Canon Color Laser Copier. Named Halon since it was designed to be a Fiery-killer. See also EasyColor and HardColor.

Hammermill-Kimberly-Nekoosa Plus n. A generic brand of paper said to be the best for LaserMaster SX engines. Example: whatever the hell we are shipping to the user this week.

hang v. ** distinguish among "crash," "hang," "lock up."

HardColor n. The original Halon controller. It used a hard drive to spool the incoming data. Dropped when it proved easier not to have the hard drive. See also EasyColor.

Hardware conference room n. The largest conference room in R&D, located behind the Hardware kitchen near Hardware Land.

Hardware kitchen n. The larger of two kitches in R&D near Hardware Land; a favorite place to hold a BUG meeting as the pop fridge is an excellent place to stock beer.

Hardware Land n. The area of the R&D building where the hardware engineers live.

Harold n. Codename for the WinPrinter project before it was given an official name. The name was invented in a meeting discussing host-based architecture. Early Harold meetings were held in Harold Biebel's old office, which at that time was known as the "Harold Biebel Memorial War Room." In trying to think up a name for the controller, the coincidence between HB (Host-Based) and HB (Harold Biebel) suggested the name 'Harold' for the host-based controller.

headlight mode n. A black-on-white color scheme causing extreme brightness.

heek v. When software or hardware freezes suddenly, completely, and inexplicably, as a wild animal caught in a trap.

heek furiously v. Such a thorough heek that not even the Macintosh equivalent of Ctrl-Alt-Power will clear the Macintosh.

Heisenbug n. 1. A bug which changes its nature in accordance with an apparently chaotic set of rules when investigated, and becomes more difficult to reproduce and more damaging as the investigation continues. 2. A bug which occurs only in instances so unreproducible, unlikely, or complex that users who encounter it should be offered positions in QA. 3. A Schweitzerbug. (Name derived from the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle.)

heroin mode n. When the mouse double-click time is configured to its slowest setting.

HFK [pseudo-acronym] interj. Who Fucking Cares.

Hidden Prairie [bastardization] n. Eden Prairie. Another fine bastardization taken from a junk-mail item.

high-rise code n. Tight, terse source code. Typified by the use of curly braces only when necessary and the occasional multi-statement line.


Compare and contrast this with country code.

holiday n. A day selected by LM management that "may be taken off by LM employees with pay, if they wish."

home life n. A mythical existance outside the confines of LM.

hondo n. 1. A specialist or expert who is more convenient and reliable than a manual. Ask Hassing, he's the OS/2 hondo. 2. [imitative] n. Hundred. [** See CiB about derivation of def'n 1]

hooter board n. An unintended, unnatural appendage attached onto an existing PCB (Printed Circuit Board). The hooter board is often attached in an unusual and unconventional (albeit clever) manner, and consists typically of another PCB containing some kludge logic.

host n. The computer in which a board, card or controller lives. Host-based referred to LM products in which the computer did all the work, and the controller was replaced by a card. Harold was called a host-based controller.

hug the plant v. To grab a large potted plant by the base of the pot and show affection by putting ones arms around it.

hump the plant v. To grab a large potted plant by the base of the pot and show affection by attempting an unspeakable act moments before blanket time.

hurl dog n. A form of buttfood available at trade shows; a hot dog that almost makes you hurl, but not quite. Term coined by BrianF at Fall '91 Demcox in Las Vegas.

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Copyright 2009, Dave Polaschek. Last updated on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:06:31.