Jargon - D


Daddy n. Endearing term, originally meaning boss or supervisor but now meaning any close coworker. Usually connotates some sort of help being needed. Daddy, can you come look at my screen?

Dave ride n. Jumping on DaveM at the top of the stairs and subsequently tumbling down the stairs together. (Not actually riding Dave, per se.)

dBASE n. Number-one broken PC program. Tracks bugs during release mode and elicits d'Oh noises.

DD/PI [acronym] n. Direct Display Printer Interface. The TSR of love which interfaces between PC applications and the microcode on LX controllers. Also DDPI when slash `/' is unavailable, as in a MS-DOS file name).

dead v. Defunct; no longer employed by LM. Not derogatory unless the person in question was a puffalump or left behind a trail of bad code. Opposite of alive/living.

degubbing [spoonerism] v. Debugging.

Demcox [spoonerism] n. Comdex, a large semi-annual trade show; a place to learn the zen of TurboRest and talking to end-users while broken. [**Check w/BobA for reference to actual event.]

desired feature n. A new software feature that will often improve the software's usability but seldom if ever gets in. Sometimes a desired feature is simply to fix something broken, other times it is a radical change in the way of doing things. See big N, requested enhancement.

deslugger [bastardization] n. Debugger.

desluggage n. Use of a deslugger, as in I think we're gonna have to get some desluggage going here.

despoon v. To discard the spoon to the middle of the table when a cheesy foofoo or other non-soup is the appetizer. Opposite of respoon.

detray v. To discard the plastic tray which carries your food items in order to fit n+m people at an n-place table.

Dickhead n. A poker game commonly known in the real world as "31," but with practical variations (see flange). The name is derived from invectives hurled at one who has most recently won a hand. (See Butterfly.)

Dick's Operating System n. Sardonic name for MS-DOS, always followed by a wry Thanks Dick.

Diet Choke [bastardization] n. Diet Coke. See Choke.

Direct Deposit n. The process of getting your paycheck, going directly to the bank, and depositing it. (LaserMaster did not offer direct deposit as a benefit.)

doesn't suck v. Used to describe something that is atypical in a good way, as in This new compiler fully doesn't suck, or Buy LM printers--they don't suck.

DogMail n. A colorful nickname for cc:Mail.

d'Oh interj. 1. Clamorous indignation directed toward a foolish mistake or program (mis)feature, or toward anything unexpected, such as a virus scan, a "Leonardo/VOL2 almost out of disk space" network broadcast message, or anything that happens when using dBASE or cc:Mail. Origin: Homer Simpson. 2. Return acknowledgment of someone else's d'Oh.

donut semaphore n. A travelling plastic donut that indicates who is responsible for purchasing donuts for Hardware Land. The donut rests on and travels with a companion metal bracket from the back panel of a PC. The bracket is poked between the metal bar and the fabric along the top of a cubicle wall.

doo-da n. Friend; amigo; endearing term spoken to someone as you pass them in the hallway or as you walk up to them to ask them a question. Chiefly used in the greeting Hey, doo-da. Slightly less friendly than smelly butt and homey. Sometimes used as a name substitute when you want to get someone's attention but can't remember their name: Doo-da? (See gargoyle.)

double buffering v. The LM version of a "two-fisted drinker." Any beverage combination is acceptable, but the most common is a High Res glass of LM Drink in one hand, and a Low Res bottle or can of beer in the other.

Douglie's [bastardization] n. McDonald's (Also McDouglie's), a buttfood restaurant. interr. Boolean query in the manner of Bayon.

download [vulgar] v. To urinate or defecate, usually after drinking. Good meal; now I gotta go do a download.

downstairs n. 1. microcode. 2. software running on a dedicated processor. see controller. [** complete, link to upstairs]

DPSD [acronym] n. A controller daughter board for LX controllers that drives a GlassPage 1280 display. Name was meant to suggest Display PostScript Daughter board, but we never intended for it to be called that.

DPS1 [acronym, archaic] n. A stand-alone display controller based on the LX architecture to upgrade machines with an EGA controller and a multi-sync monitor from a 640x350 display area to an 800x600 view into a 1024x1024 display area. The physical display area scrolled around the virtual display area by following the cursor.

Drink of Life and Death, the n. RobL's secret party drink, rumored to contain only vodka, Gatorade®, and a dash of sea salt, culminating in a drink more emetic than any other ever devised. Although some survivors insist that the mixture is nothing more than vodka and green food coloring, others maintain that the citric taste supports the Gatorade theory. Why is it called the "Drink of Life and Death"? In the words of the inventor, "If your tongue doesn't hurt in the morning, you must be dead."

drive v. To operate the computer at the keyboard and/or mouse, as in Here, lemme drive, or Okay, if you're so smart, you drive.

drool-proof paper n. Software documention written for the LCD (Lowest Common Degenerate) or the pond scum is said to be written on drool-proof paper. An example appears on pages 1-2 in the Unity 1000 Printer Manual: "Do not locate Unity where it might be exposed to flames..." and on page A-2 in the Unity Mac User Guide: "If you are experiencing printing problems, first make sure that Unity is plugged in..." and on page iv of the Unity PC User Guide: "The procedures in the manual were written based on the assumption that your current directory is the root directory of hard drive C:. Of course, this isn't always the case."

Drop Box [archaic] n. 1. The Macintosh version of Transfer. 2. Where Macintosh software engines put stuff they don't want QA to log bugs against. 3. Usual source of test software for Mac guys in QA.

drop mud [vulgar] v. To expunge liquid feces into the toilet (or urinal), usually the morning after drinking. See Buttwiper.

Drop Trou n. Progressive poker game, the exact definition of which remains elusive. (It may be another name for "Guts" or "Five-Two.")

DTC [acronym archaic] n. Digital Typeface Corporation, LaserMaster's sister company and provider of fonts par excellence.

DTC Tree [archaic] n. The Christmas tree erected by DTC on which to hang butt-toys and trade show foofoos.

DUMBDrive [bastardization] n. Microsoft SMARTDrive (SMARTDRV.SYS).

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Copyright 2009, Dave Polaschek. Last updated on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:06:29.