Jargon - C

C


Cake Decorating School of Gratuitous Embellishment, the n. A school where one learns to design unnecessary bells and whistles into user interfaces. The guys who wrote this app must've gone to the Cake Decorating School of Gratuitous Embellishment...

can of torpedos n. 1. A mess worse than a can of worms. 2. Any nebulous meaning. Origin: ToddL in a meeting when he misheard AaronK saying Damn the torpedos!

CAPCard n. LaserMaster's first product, shipped February, 1986. The first version had 1.5M memory, a graphics coprocessor, and supported the Ricoh 4080 only. Available fonts were HP softfonts (SFP's). CAD support was added through LMPlot. See also LC2.

card n. Same as board, only generally a bit smaller.

Car Parts Corner n. The corner at West 78th Street and Valley View Road on the way back from the mall where there's always a part or two of a car lying in the street and where there should be a protected left-turn signal.

C.A.S.E. tool n. Bottle opener.

castrosized [CASTRated + O + capSIZED] v. How you feel in the morning when you wake up after having drunk and then puked the night before.

cc:Frail [bastardization] n. Nickname for cc:Mail, said of its frailty and its divine ability to crash every couple weeks. See also SissyMail, DogMail, and paragraph warp.

cc:Mail n. 1. The number-two broken PC program, especially because of its bastardized editor and its propensity to destroy its database integrity, resulting in lost messages and other messages becoming "new" again. 2. The number-one most broken Macintosh software. See also SissyMail, DogMail, cc:Frail and paragraph warp.

CD List of Love n. A list of Compact Discs passed around from time to time from which a large group order is placed.

chack steck [spoonerism] v. Stack check. Hey, you're running with chack stecking enabled?

chair fart n. The familiar hissing sound made by a cool chair when the height is adjusted.

Chair Jenga n. The game of Jenga played with chairs, only that the chairs are considered write-only--stacked but not yanked out from beneath.

change file n. A file in a subdirectory of Prerel that is updated between releases to help QA track changes during release mode.

CheeseToes n. Cheetos brand cheese puffs, a buttfooden.

CheeseZits n. Cheez-It's brand snack crackers, a buttfooden containing a high concentration of vegetable oil and simulated cheese.

cheesy foofoo n. Triangular deep-fried, cream-filled, crunchy wonton appetizer at Bayon. Technically buttfood although not generally recognized as such, except by ToddL (see foofoo pecking order).

chicken fat n. Small strips of pale, rubbery sun-dried apple chunks, for example Sun.Maid brand.

Choke [bastardization] n. Coke; Coca-Cola. The real thing, not Pepsi, not Crystal Caffiene-free Diet Jolt. See J.D. Co'.

Chun Yee Tree n. Legend speaks of a tree near the Mark Wickham Commemorative Bump that was hit by an LM'erone winter. The tree has since been chopped down to a stump.

cinnamon n. The deep red hot sauce of love at Bayon. See flavor dots.

Ci's Constant n. An abstraction of the necessary combination of KX printers and Macintoshes in client-host relationships across multiple zones necessary to produce the Mandelbug Domino heek, whereby 50% of all involved Macintoshes heek furiously in 2-minute intervals. Networks approaching Ci's Constant are Mandelbug structures and can be reproduced using very large or small sets of hardware.

CList [Command + LIST] n. 1. Post-mortem degubbing tool for use with LX microcode. The DD/PI command list is uploaded from the controller and dumped to the screen. 2. Output generated by such tool.

Club Cow n. CraigL and RobL's house, where the world's greatest parties were held. See B.Y.O.B., blanket time, and the Drink of Life and Death.

Club LM n. A haven for LM'ers and guests to drink, be merry, and practice corporate bonding; a place where wild release parties are held. The laser show in the ceiling was modeled after the Shark Club.

Clud n. A golfball-sized toy, fashioned as a glom of rubber bands, which when shot several yards at high speed makes a substantial thud sound upon impact. Named after the inventor, ClayB. See scud, incoming.

CludA n. Name given a pet stealth-clud by its designer, BobA (who, incidentally, is somewhat dangerous around toys).

cockpit error n. Foolish or thoughtless driving that results in misperceived software bugs. interj. Response from software engine when described a "bug" that isn't really a bug. See SFU error.

coffee-22 n. In the inimitable words of the originator, JimH: When you don't have enough brainpower to get a cup of coffee because you haven't had a cup of coffee.

coming wik interr. Boolean query of participation status. "Wik" (meaning "with") comes from the pseudo-Norweigan titles of Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

commence shoveling v. To begin eating. interj. An announcement indicating that it would not be impolite to start eating.

compiglation [bastardization] n. Compilation. interj. Announces successful compilation, usually after pecking away at compile-time warnings and/or errors.

compiglator [bastardization] n. Compiler.

computer fart n. The buzzing noise made by a PC when the `Esc' key is pressed to bypass memory tests at system startup.

Concrete Chicken [bastardization] County Kitchen, which has been replaced in Eden Prairie by Davanni's.

CONFIG.LM n. Configuration file read by LXLOAD, DD/PI, and other components of the LX software.

confuzzed [bastardization] v. Confused.

conglogitated [CONGLOMERATED + CLOGGED] v. 1. Complex; messy; hopelessly twisted and mixed together. 2. Mixed together and goopy, sort of like a paint and glue mixture.

controller n. A large printed circuit board with lots of cool hardware and often a dedicated chip onto which microcode is loaded and run; different from a board in that a controller is more sophisticated.

cool chair n. A cushy chair with wheels, an automatic adjustable height mechanism, and optional arms. See chair fart.

cool phone 1. [obsolescent] n. A silver phone with an LCD display, as opposed to the black phone with no display. 2. n. A phone with an LCD display, as opposed to one without.

core hours n. Core hours for R&D are from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Employees are expected to arrive at some time x (x < 10:00 a.m.) and leave at some time y ( y > 5:00 p.m.) where y > x + 9. Up to one hour may be taken for lunch. For exceptions see crunch mode and sighting.

corporate bonding n. Drinking and laughing and being merry and generally growing and socializing as a team. Put a half-dozen LM'ers in a bar and there will be noise.

country code n. Source code with lots of space. Typified by strictly one statement per line and an abundance of curly braces.

for (x = xmin; x <= xmax; x++)
{
	for (y = ymin; y <= ymax; y++)
	{
		if (InMandelbrotSet(x, y))
		{
			SetPixel (x, y, BLACK);
		}
	}
}
Compare and contrast this with high-rise code.

cow can n. A cylindrical toy with a diaphragm through which air passes when the toy is turned upside-down to produce a cow "mooing" sound for a short duration. Sometimes also called a "cow moo can."

Cow Group n. One of four original software development teams originally located in the large PC Land bay; the last surviving team of the four; group of software engines gathered together to work on drivers. See Butterfinger Group, Jungle Group and Sandwich Group.

CowDome [archaic] n. Small shipping dock behind the Cow Group (a.k.a. TrueImage Group) where one-on-one games of hoops are played.

CowScript n. New GDI spooler metafile format and rasterizer of love. See Elk Hoof and MooScript.

crash (kra(sh) v. To cease functioning, usually in a spectacular way giving forth screen garbage or foofoo characters. ** distinguish among crash, hang, lock up, frack, kack.

Crotch Water [bastardization] n. LaCroix brand mineral water, especially Lemon flavor. See Pledge Water.

crunch mode n. The use of all available physical and mental effort toward the common good of the company to get a software release out the door as soon as possible; an environmental state in which all the software engines on a given project work more than they sleep for a worthy purpose, such as finishing up a new software release, or geting the product shipped out at end of month. See release mode, release party, LM widow, home life.

Ctrl-Alt-Power v. To restart a computer after a hang or frack, using the physical power switch on the side when no other means of restarting the machine is working. When this is necessary, the computer is said to be winning.

Ctrl-Dave switch n. A switch in WinPrinter Trimmage allowing one to view raw PostScript code as the interpreter eats it by pressing Ctrl-D.

cube n. 1. Cubicle; a private work area not unlike a small room or cage, customized and very friendly. Almost never truly cube-shaped, although some are actually square when viewed from the top. 2. Office; a private work area in a separate room with a door and optionally a window. An office as such is often still referred to as a cube, even though it is not a cube in the standard definition as in other corporations. To call an office an office at LM would be pompous and unfriendly. See orifice. 3. Shelter to protect you from the occasional rubber band or clud or other objects. 4. A generic area where software engines, chained to their desks, type, eat buttfood, and sometimes practice TurboRest during crunch mode.

cultural tour n. A late-night group trip to explore local bars and nite-clubs, usually in Las Vegas during Fall Demcox. Participants are usually broken before and after the tour.

cunkaglator [bastardization] n. Calculator or calculating device.

curry chicken n. #1 at Bayon; curry chicken Cambodian style; the choice of choices; food of the gods. See ooze, token carrot, curry chicken burps.

curry chicken burps n. Enjoyable taste and warm sensation in the esophagus when air is driven upward from the stomach a couple hours after eating curry chicken. Such burps can be painful, due to the spicy content of the food, and can bring on a mild case of reflux esophagitus.

cushy chair n. A chair with sufficient padding for your butt to get you through a one-hour meeting. Especially important in the Hardware conference room.


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Copyright 2009, Dave Polaschek. Last updated on Mon, 15 Feb 2010 14:06:28.